I am so cranky I don’t even want to be around myself. That’s a very bad thing. I was going to blow off Bootcamp because I didn’t want to subject anyone else to my ‘dark cloud self’. I won’t get into the why of my mood, that just leads to an angry whiner. No one likes a whiner, unless of course I’m trying to be a funny whiner. Right?! Please tell me my funny whining is well, funny.

So, I’m little Miss Black Cloud today. I’ve even growled a few times. Low and behold… I have gained an extra conscience. Her name is Donna and she got a fair share of my woes/texts blasted her way today. When I told her I was not going to Booty, she immediately said, “GO! it will get my endorphins pumping and I won’t be so miserable”. She didn’t say miserable but she could have as it would have been the truth.

So I’m trudging into Bootcamp, Nancy sees my black cloud trailing behind. I can see the worried look in her eye, so I told her I would keep to my bad self and  keep my trap shut. For everyone’s sake and mine. YIKES! it’s partner day… uh oh…

Mark took one for the Team and volunteered to warm up with me. As we finished the warm up, someone was talking… oh hey, that was me! And wait, I have a ‘snap the yap shut’ rule and I’ve broken it. Seems the endorphins must be kicking in because I believe I even smirked. Not a full fledged smile, but close.

So now we move on to ladders… LADDERS!!?? Nancy took pity on Mark and made us switch up partners. I partnered with Lisa, a little less scary looking . Lisa will love me even if I am miserable to be around (Thanks Lisa-xoxo!) I can count on her to, if nothing else, pound me into the ground. Nothing says love like an attitude adjustment.

The good news is that today’s workout totally worked. No breathe to yammer, just a little stammer. Sweat pouring out the body with it all my evilness. Unfortunately, for Nancy and the class, our ‘quiet’ cool down was filled witha rejuvenated chatty patty in the corner. Yours truly is now cleansed, reborn, and giggling~ glad to see ME back from the darkness.

All due in part to having a second conscience. I recommend a second one to everyone who have days that they just need a little nudge, or a shove in the right direction. Look around next time you are in class. Exchange email, or phone number, you never know when you may need your second conscience. Or a good swift boot in the behind. You will be glad you did, I am, that’s for sure.

So, thank you to Donna, Mark, Lisa, and the 4p Bootcamp class for putting up with me today. YOU ROCK!

Blog you later,

gretchen

Holy cow! This whole week I can’t get away from Abs. There’s a Bootcamper that wants work on their abs… so, Dean and Nancy have been working our abs. Not with silly crunches, you can do that at home! Nope they sneak the ab work in on pushups, speed rows, mountain climbers, side planks… do I really need to go on with abdominal exercises?! I didn’t think so. Just reading the exercises, makes you tighten and feel your abdominal muscles clench doesn’t it?

Then there was my friend who went for a physical this week and asked the doctor about achieving the 6 pack abs. She was told nicely of course, that age may be a factor, not to expect the visual 6 pack. Ok, who wants to hear that?! That can’t be true… can it? (Dean: you can step in here anytime during my ramble…).

(From Dean – what a crock! I have seen healthy  men AND women in their 60′s and 70′s with defined abdominals; they train hard and support their desire for leanness with proper nutrition. Why do we insist on putting limitations on ourselves because of our age? If you don’t have a visible 6 pack, it’s because you haven’t earned it. That being said, it ain’t easy! Your actions must be congruous with your goal, and frankly not too many people are willing to do what it takes. Could age be a factor? Of course! But so are the desserts, glasses of wine, and “treats”.  The abs are there, but if you want to reveal them, you have to do the hard work, and the hardest work usually has to do with nutrition)

Not enough abdominal topic du jour… I’m on the internet and see “5 foods for 6pack Abs”…oh I gotta check this one out (can you say, ‘sucker’??). After about 5minutes of hearing about this wonderful trainer who developed this plan- blah blah blah… my attention lost except: a few key points. Abs exercisers and most exercises… do not work. Huh?! Well tell that to my abdominal muscles that are in place holding me upright. I may not be able to see them exactly… unless of course I turn a certain way, stand tall, suck it in and voila! I have abs!! Gotta tell ya a little secret- I think, no, I know… its from Bootcamp!!

Now I have to get on my soap box for just a minute… for the next bit that my infomercial ‘enlightened’ me on. The dude said “it’s not your fault you are obese”… what??!! replay… yup it’s not my fault!?! Oh, you mean to tell me it wasn’t my fault I ate the whoopie pie, cake and icecream that made me obese. That just fried my brain- oops did I say ‘fried’, I meant ‘steamed’, cuz frying anything is not healthy. Well, so is not taking responsibility for our actions! Which just sends my brain into the whole – ‘softer society’, it’s not your fault, there are no failures. Man up already! It is my fault, my body is the way it is because of me, my choices. I take full responsibility. More people should… that said: I’m also taking action to make the changes I can, make better choices, having goals and working towards them. OK, now breathe! I’m stepping off my soapbox before I get myself into trouble…

I never did find out what the 5 foods to 6 pack abs where. I can pretty much guess it was something Green, from the Earth and hmm! Healthy for me!! I’m wondering where the next sign for Abs are going to come to me. Probably – Tabata Abs is my guess! (Hello Dean and Nancy, that sooo was not a suggestion – just saying).

Blog you later.

gretchen

If you are sore today; raise your arm… (too sore to raise your arms?)

If you are sore today; wave your hand… (oh wrists are sore too?)

If you are sore today; stand up… (hmmm… too sore to stand up?)

Ok, how about this: If you are sore today; just blink your eyes… (ah ha! Score one for Dean and Nancy… we cannot move on our day of rest)

One Word:  EMOM!!! (and if you aren’t sore… you didn’t work hard enough!!)

So as I’m sitting here thinking about where to go from here, with as little movement as possible… I’ve written a parody (atleast I think that’s what it’s called)

WEIRD AL-gretch YANKA-wolfe… spoofs John Cougar Mellancamp’s ’ Hurts So Good!’ …

When I go to Bootcamp. Said put away those useless gyms. Now that I’m getting stronger, so much stronger. I long for these Bootcamp days. With a group like you, with a Bootcamp like you. Lord knows there are pushup variations we can do baby. Add starjumps and speedrows, come on 15 reps.

Hurts so good. Come on EMOM makes it hurt so good. Sometimes Bootcamp don’t feel like it should. EMOM makes it, a-hurt so good.

Don’t have to be so exciting. Just tryin’ to give myself a little bit of fun, yeah. EMOM always looks so inviting. You ain’t as green as you should be. Hey EMOM it’s you, come on EMOM it’s you. Sink your teeth right through that EMOM. Lets see what we can do, come on, ‘make it happen’.

Hurts so good. Come on EMOM makes it hurt so good. Sometimes Bootcamp don’t feel like it should. EMOM makes it, a-hurt so good.

I ain’t talking no whimpin’ out. I ain’t made no plans to quit. I ain’t talkin’ no high knees. Maybe, we could just EMOM, all day long. Add more reps, all day long. UGH!

Hurts so good. Come on EMOM makes it hurt so good. Sometimes Bootcamp don’t feel like it should. EMOM makes it hurt so good.

TA DA! Enough said…

Blog you later.

gretchen

‘Partner Band Rows’, that was Mondays workout. How many of you used the ‘green’ band? I’m sure the Concord peops did… the Epsom bunch is a little behind in jumping on the … ‘green band’-wagon (heehee, yes, I crack myself up).

Okay, okay…how many of you had Nancy as a partner? AKA: the ‘green’ monster experience? Well… I did.

Our class had 9 peops, if you do the math for ‘partners’, that left an odd man out. I won(??). By default, since Nancy had me demonstrate ‘partner band rows’, she was my workout partner… with the ‘green’ band!

It was like we were transposed into the Wild West.

The Wild West meets Epsom Bootcamp. (Cue in ‘The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly’ music)

We met at high noon (ok so it was 4:30pm); in the middle of town (room/town its all the same); both Bootcamp Slingers, with a gleam in our eyes, a smirk on our face, and its a ‘show-down’.

We start off trying to knock the other off-balance, pulling the band in tight, grinning our sadistic smiles, the pace speeds up. Arms swaying back and forth, burning, neither one giving in ~ stop! We stand up, stare the other down… we will meet again, and again, and again (in a few minutes actually- 6 times for 40 seconds).

For those of you that do not know, Nancy has arms and shoulders that make me… ‘green’ with envy. (yes a small jump back to the ‘green’ scene)…Someday… For now, my goal is to make her sore the next day. Of course during our ‘show-down’ (oops back to the WildWest, ADHD: its a beautiful thing ‘oh look! shiny bauble’)… I’m thinking, ‘never mind her soreness, I’m not going to be able to lift a pencil tomorrow’.

I reckon, it was a draw by the end of the ‘partner green band show-down’. As we ride off into the sunset…  Tomorrow is another day. (Cue in ‘The Good, the Bad and the Ugly sound bite)

By the way: Nancy was not sore the next day but, neither was I… much!…

Blog you later.

The Green Outlaw Gretchen Wolfe

Normally that would be me. I won’t disagree… but I’m actually talking about the Pittsfield Balloon Rally. It’s happening this weekend. If you have never attended, it really is spectacular. Imagine 20+ Hot air balloons all leaving from the soccer fields at Drakes Field at the same time.…

It all starts Friday night at 5:30PM with the first flight. The town gets crazy busy with people everywhere. Excitement stirs, the vendors are setting up, and the helicopter rides have begun. The balloonists are rolling into town and preparing for the first flight of the weekend. Weather permitting they will go up. If you are trying to just pass through town you may want to take the back roads.

Saturday morning it’s rise and shine, early! Of course a lot of you are already up and at em’. Grab the baseball hat because the hair monster attacked you last night, grab your coffee and head out the door. Its amazing to see so many people so early, congregated at the field. Around 5:30AM the balloonists start rolling out the balloons, the mega fans are set up to semi-inflate the massive balloons, the baskets are prepped and readied for flight. As the sun continues to rise the mist is over the Suncook River, there are a few balloons that like to ‘skim the water’ it’s prime photo opportunity. There are balloon chase vehicles that head out to follow the paths of the balloons. Upon landing, and they will land anywhere and everywhere including the middle of Rte 28! For those property owners that graced by a rather large balloon, are greeted with a traditional little bottle of champagne (add a little oj and mmm! mimosa morning – maybe I’ll just follow the balloons). The rest of the day the park is abuzz with vendors, arts ,and crafts booths, helicopter rides, the BoyScouts have a dunking booth, a few carnival rides and music. Its a fun family time! The Balloonists take flight once in the morning and again at 5:30PM. Following this flight, is a night inflation. A few of the balloons light up like fireflies while tethered to the ground. Once it’s truly dark the BEST Fireworks in the State takes place.

Sunday morning at 5:30AM is the last flight for the Pittsfield Balloon Rally. Following this flight is a 5K Roadrace at 9AM. Any Bootcampers planning to enter this year?! Maybe Dean and Nancy want to try out their ‘finger-toe shoes’??!!

Well, hope to see you all out there this weekend.

Ooops, see … I really am filled with HOT AIR!!

Blog you later.

gretchen

So today after yet another Bootcamp workout that has left my muscles quivering, I have to share my story. I’m driving along with my 10 yr old, rubbing my shoulder and muttering “wow, I’m sore already?!”… he asks why? Need I even reply… I glanced over and one word… ‘Bootcamp’.

He asks me what I did. I love that he takes an interest. So I tell him we were doing vertical pushups and he asked if they were like pushups standing up. I explained how we line up at the wall, lean over and do pushups working up to being able to do a handstand and then proceed to do a pushup.

His eyes got big and he says ‘that’d be cool’… oh boy, I just got the ‘cool factor’. I do not get ‘that’d be cool’, that’s reserved for the husband who doesn’t do pushups on a regular basis can drop down and do clap pushups (showoff!).

Guess what is going to be attempted in the Wolfe household tomorrow?! That is of course, if I can raise my arms… and then if I can raise my arms, I’ve got to be able to do a handstand (that might take a little work) – two legs, two boys, they can each hold one up. Lets just hope that I don’t fall on my noggin – that might just ruin my ‘cool factor’. I think maybe I should try it when noone is looking first

I want to mention the ‘pushup rule’ in our house. If a cuss word is uttered, disrespect, bad behavior, any infarction, it’s 3 pushups. No one is exempt, so by now you know, I’ve done a fair share of pushups in the house, in a parking lot, in front of friends, doesn’t matter where… Consequences to our actions. Its a matter of awareness, punishment with a twist. Its a little bit of exercise and its an attitude adjustment. However you want to look at it, it seems to work. I know, I think twice about ‘shooting off at the mouth’. We are expanding energy constructively instead of in anger. I do them, my boys do them, even a few of their friends have shared in a pushup or 3, ‘if you’re in my house, you get treated like you are mine’…Saint Michael(the husband) just watches- geez,what is up with that?! We are all laughing by the end of them, no resentments, no screaming and yelling… just awareness that what was done was not ok, and we move on.  Maybe, now we’ll have to incorporate vertical pushups as the alternative to just the regular pushup. Want to take bets that by the end of the summer I will have mastered the handstand pushup?!

Blog you later!

gretchen

Ever have one of those weeks… I’m in the midst of one. I don’t want to go to school, especially since I was yelled at for ‘parking without permission’, but, unable to locate the person I need to ‘ask permission from’ – what is up with that? Are we in kindergarten and trying to see who is King of the sandbox or in this case the parking lot? Totally ridiculous and I am so not in the mood, it’s summer and I don’t want to even have to park in the stinkin’ parking lot, not to mention it all could have been avoided since the putz watched me park, was a foot away from me and said nothing! OK, this is when I need to step away because nothing good can come of this… Just know that I’m not a happy camper this week.

Did I mention, cell phones don’t take kindly to a little water? So, I found out – dead phone! My hubs made sure to point out that the ‘drybag’ in the kayak was just that, a dry bag. So I spent Monday running around to get my cellphone fixed… ended up joining Dean in Droid-ville. I don’t know how it happened. I do know that I got in the car with my new phone and realized I don’t even know how to make a phonecall! Hello?! but it can do amazing things… too bad I’m technologically challenged! They saw me coming from a mile away…

So, to add salt to the wound… I’ve missed Bootcamp twice this week! and the guilt is creeping in! Monday was the Zac Brown band concert at Meadowbrook (which by the way was fabulous). As they say, ‘I got my toes in the water, arse in the sand / Not a worry in the world, a cold beer(uhh…”Water”) in my hand / Life is good today, life is good today …’

The sad part is that I missed Ladders at Bootcamp - I have been waiting for them for a while and I blew it.

My children haven’t seen me for 4days, I’ve been working and then the concert… my 10 year old hit me with the zinger ‘its ok Mom, we’re getting used to having just Dad put us to bed’ (wow! how’s that for a reality slap!). Guess what? It’s Tuesday and I’m still going to Bootcamp! I’ll just make dinner, sit with them, go to the 6pm class and be home to do the bedtime gig – it’s all good. Except, eating dinner right before Bootcamp is not advisable as I found out. Nope… had to bail on Tuesdays class as well. Arrgghh! Something’s not right with this picture…

It’s amazing how bad it is for my mind, body and spirit to miss Bootcamp. I can almost guarantee that had I gone to either day, I wouldn’t feel like ripping heads off of the putz’ I have to deal with during the day, and I would be ok with not being ‘mom of the year’ for 4days, and the cellphone would not have been impulsive. So you see, I need Bootcamp like normal people need air (have I mentioned lately, I’m not normal?)

I vow to get my booty into Booty for the rest of the week! I’ll see you there because… “Life is Good Today”

Blog you later!

gretchen

I’m not talking about sitting in a fancy shmancy slick car…Unless of course we are talking about the wheels we drove into the parking lot on. Which by the way, I’ve got the fast and furious ride for the week For you gear heads, it’s a 990 CanAm Spyder! It’s sweet.

Alas, I’m talking about our feet!

They were going, fast and furious! ‘Fast feet’, ‘Fire Feet’, ‘Rapid Feet’… I can’t even remember the correct term. I just know they were moving. I’m talking about Tuesdays workout. We had a new timing… 60 seconds of work, 30 seconds rest. I think Dean went soft in the head, or maybe he just was overcome with glee about trying out the Spyder. A 30 second rest?! Don’t get comfy with that, because I’m sure that will not happen often. To be honest, I’m not sure I want that much rest in between exercises. (no you can’t hate me for saying that!) It’s just that even though there was a lot of sweat involved in Tuesdays workout… I’m not sore. I’m always sore! I’ve become addicted to sore… yes I need to be committed… and fitted with a ‘fashionable’ white coat that wraps my arms around my body.

Being sore has become the norm for me. It reminds me why I am at Bootcamp. Its a sign that my muscles are alive and well, and striving to be seen, not just felt. Instead, as I told Jill during the ‘fast feet’ minute of work… my entire body jiggled. Ooh… so not cool! It probably wasn’t a pretty sight either, but hey, thank Dean and Nancy for not having mirrors. It was a definite reminder that I’m at Bootcamp for a purpose. A reminder as to why I am looking at what I eat, making better choices. ‘If it’s green from the ground and protein, then it’s ok to eat’ – maybe I should start every morning with a 60 second ‘fast feet’. Yup, still jiggles, eat for my body not for fun. Where am I going with this? hmm… Friday is the end of the 12% challenge. Do you think I can lose 10 pounds in 2 days? No- that’s what I’m thinking too dang it! I’m not even sure where I started or where I’ll finish with this challenge, but I know where I’m at and where I need to go. So the challenge comes to a close but, I’m not done. I’m the slow and steady type, I’ll get there…eventually.

Until then, keep it Fast and Furious! Feet that is…

Blog you later.

gretchen

Oy! that’s it, just… OY! Here’s the ‘good, bad and the ugly’… (can you hear the music in the background?)

I just spent the weekend camping, in the woods, living out of a cooler. Not very conducive to the ‘Eternal Eating Plan’ let me tell you. Who really thinks about healthy foods when they go camping? Its eat, drink and be merry, that’s camping! OK, so I was that sicko that struggled with how to eat healthy while camping. I have two weeks to meet the 12% challenge, and so far not doing so hot with it.

My schizophrenic brain went from; this is crazy; to I can do this; to who am I kidding; and finally, I need to atleast make the best choice available. What a great challenge before me. Do you know how difficult it is, to eat healthy while camping? I started by bringing all my foods, salads, veggies, eggs… packed them all into the cooler and off we went for 4days. Leave the alcohol behind. I am good to go…. not so much!

We arrived Friday to set up… went into town for a few items forgotten. I nixed the idea of fast-food dinner and we opted for burgers and dogs. So, I bring out the salad and burger no bun - yeh me.  It was my birthday, the boys surprised me with cupcakes, ok just one! OK, not so good after all. After dinner we went kayaking, exercise is good.

Saturday rolls around with pancakes and sausage… (stop grumbling Dean) I didn’t eat it! I opted for a granola bar and a banana. Then it was off mountain biking from the Flume to Profile Lake, more exercise= good. Lunch was on the go… PB&J – not the best but, again, it’s hot out, no cooler strapped to a bike. Apples to snack on. Back to the camp site for ribs, asparagus, and more kayaking – all good. Sunday, was ‘Mom cooks breakfast’ day. Cheese, asparagus, spinach eggs! Healthy and yummy (and the boys liked it too= bonus). Off we go to Cannon to ride the Tram and hike all around the mountain, more exercise-good. Lunch, we brought BLT’s with cheese… bacon left out of mine! More apples, trail mix (almonds, dried fruit)… Dinner was left-over ribs… and well – the salad has now turned limp from the cooler – gross, the green beans are water logged, slimy, and ew! The bananas… black mush. There goes all my best laid out plans down the drain, or in the trash as the case may be.

Now enter the s’mores… of course I ate one! I’m camping… it’s not camping without s’mores… But I stopped with just one, see that’s willpower

How do these healthy eaters do it? Well… they aren’t camping that’s for sure, or celebrating their birthday! The Holiday weekend is done and over… tomorrow is a new day with my refrigerator stocked with veggies and salad. Bootcamp resumes… 10 more days of the 12% challenge. Time to make it happen… and to figure out a better plan for the next camping trip. Next time, I will have a better system, and will once again be thinking of a healthier way to go camping.

Blog you later.

gretchen

Distress: the feeling you get when the car won’t start, you’re late to work, the dog ran away, the utilities bill needs to be paid… um, yesterday.

De-Stress: the feeling you get when you wipe your mind free of all that’s causing ‘distress’ and do something for your mind, spirit and body.

Darn you 9am Ladies… we need to chat… It’s MONDAY! you know, ‘ease’ into our workouts for the week, Monday. But, Nooo! (in case you can not hear my voice in written word… I’m Whining!!) you had to throw a challenge out didn’t you?! So not happy at the time. Did I mention it was hot today?! Of course, not as hot as you were with no air-conditioning. I believe I heard that you pulled a little ‘tude’ when Nancy asked if you wanted it on this morning… and then she withheld it from you when you were whining it was hot (sweet justice! . As it was, I started out today whining, I was gonna go to the 6p class so I wasn’t rushing to get to the 4p. My husband informs me he has a Fire Dept meeting. I know I will come up with some lame excuse not to go to the 6p class, like leaving the boys unattended (really, how much trouble can they get into unsupervised? all bleeding stops eventually right?)…so I have to go to the 4p class after all. I rush out of the house before I change my mind. Tell Nancy my saga of the day (basically give her the big brain dump), take a deep breathe and think, ‘for the next hour it’s all about me! time to de-stress’.

So we start the class with band pulls, just to warm up… and I snap myself in the face! then move to the back and pull out every baby hair at the back of my neck. Hello Karma! I am trying to de-stress here…a little help please. Then its on to Julie’s stretch, not once, not twice, but ONE MORE TIME! (Nancy: there’s the enthusiasm that was missing earlier… 6 hours later…)

Great workout by the way! 50/10′s x 4. We weren’t thrown into any of Deans newly acquired ‘epic’ exercises (that may be a short reprieve, at least until he can walk again). 5 exercises – TRX jump squats (jumpin’ til the legs turned to jello, anyway); medicine ball pushups;  reaching lunges (it is beach weather, the legs need to look good);  kettlebell rows (just in case you missed a muscle group from the pushups); and side pillars (because it’s not complete unless your Core is involved). Don’t cha know, it was sweaty good fun chaps! Although, I think Sven is Svwedish, not English- ‘Jah! Let it Marinate!’

Ok, now back to the crux of my existence… my 9am LADIES!!! What is up with today’s Finisher challenge?! I was all set to Jump Rope the Metabolic/ Metabolism/ Maniacal (whatever) Ladder! Until… Nancy… ’the 9am ladies did all burpees’… I looked over to Casey (another 9am-er) ‘we need to shake them!’ So, with the gauntlet thrown down, Keith, Casey and I rose or should I say Burp’d (squat thrust, pushup, jump’d) our way through the Ladder Finisher! HAH! So there!

and I’m just saying… Casey ran 3 1/2miles prior to Bootcamp… so ‘double’ there! (Casey: you rocked my sista!)

Yup, finished today’s workout… De-Stressed all my distress of the day… glad I did and look forward to Terrific Tuesday. No promises that I won’t bring the Whine

PS: Thanks 9am Ladies for the Challenge… I may not like it, but we sure do have fun, don’t we?!

Blog you later.

gretchen